The more interesting current events...

...as it pertains to anybody who might find interest in them. I've finally decided to jump over to blogger because it seems that my xanga account has been turned into a spambot for crappy watches and pills for larger penis sizes. I got 150 notifications yesterday that comments had been made on my blog. Either I had become extremely popular in a very short while or the bastards have finally caught me. At any rate, I DARE you to read all of the archived stuff that I've transferred over. It's a fair amount but definitely not all of it. I don't think I'm interested in keeping all of it since I think a lot of it should be considered tripe but whatever I have moved over, I've reviewed and I think it's the better of my musings if we were to put any of them onto a quality scale. As for the name of this blog attempt, I had used this phrase on my old blog and wish to stay true to the tradition. It turns out that all of the names for the website that I wanted had been taken so I needed to be disappointed about the one I was able to get... my WoW warlock's name. As for "Moving on to somewhere that always stays miles away" is from a song my MG on the album "Loser Anthems- B-Sides and Rarities" called "Life Beyond the Minimum Safe Distance." I'm the poison gas.


Today, something happened that I had sort of anticipated but I thought I could handle it. It was foolish of me to try it alone but I don't think it would have made any difference. In the end, it's probably good that Paige wasn't here to react or she would have freaked out and probably called an ambulance. Enough preamble Janzen, get on with your story.

Like anyone who reads this will know, I had knee surgery on Tuesday but what you don't know is that I was not allowed to have a shower until today. This morning, to be more precise. Paige left for school this morning and the last thing she said was "wait for me to get home before you shower just in case something happens." "Ok honey," I replied "I will wait until you get home to shower." The problem is that I really wanted to take a shower! It's been two days for Kris's sake! More than that, i wanted to take my bandages off and let the wounds breathe a bit. As I stripped the tensor bandages off I saw... or rather, I smelled something that I didn't like and I thought to myself "am i going to let this stink stay on my wounds all day? No fucking way...I'm taking a shower." The part of the tensor that was over my shin actually kept its form because of how the blood in it had dried. So you can tell that this wasn't a pleasant sight but it was relatively pain free. On top of the cuts and pokes was some kind of surgical tape to protect the stitches and all that from crap until I got a chance to clean it all up. I left the tape on until I got into the shower thinking to myself that the tape would soften up and would peel off easily due to the water. I was right of course. I got into the shower and was careful to only let water run over the wounds while I wash the rest of myself. Well, the first few pieces of tape came off easily enough and only covered the punctures from the light/camera/tools... the main wound was still covered. It's about 3 or 4 inches long and required more tape to cover. Right after I removed that tape and saw what it all looked like I began to get light headed.

I've felt these effects before. The first time I passed out I was probably 10 or 11. I had a skin tag removed from inside my mouth. I just remember waking up pale as a ghost afterwards. My parents thought it was an allergy to the freezing or something like that... but I later learned as I passed out more throughout my life that it was something different. The second time I passed out in my life, I was opening a syrup bottle by cutting the plastic cover off the lid. I did it in a way that caused me to stab my hand drawing very minimal blood. I didn't think it was that big a deal at the time and tried to shrug it off but then I got dizzy and saw some stars... then I remember waking up on the floor because my dad had caught me falling out of my chair. The third time I passed out in my life was when I saw the Passion of the Christ. The one with the particularly gory torture scenes. I passed out in the theatre which frightened some people behind me but when I came to I was alright and finished the movie. I nearly passed out watching one of the Saw movies... 3 or 4 I don't remember. I remember having the dizzy sensation and the stars but I focused on my legs and urged that we leave before that happen. I made it out of the theatre before I blacked out.

Well, there I was, standing in the shower, blood running down the drain, starting to get dizzy, my heart began racing, and stars began showing up in my peripheral vision. I shouldn't have been in the shower unsupervised to begin with but there I was, sans meniscus, and new acl, and here I was going to pass out and wreck it. So I had to act quickly knowing what would probably happen given the signs. I sat down in the tub, turned the water off and leaned back trying to relax as it all went black. As soon as I thought it would pass, I woke up. A weird sensation. Have you ever played Call of Duty or some other realistic war video game when a bomb goes off near you? The sound of distant humming, the blood in your ears is deafening as your heart pulses. It was like that except with no dead Krauts. Eventually my heart slowed down and the only hum I could hear was the bathroom fan. I turned the shower back on and washed my hair before turning it off again to towel off.

It was probably bad that I did that alone but I'm pretty sure if my wife were around to witness that she would have freaked out. Since she doesn't know about this blog, and none of you will tell her (right?), the secret is safe until I tell her a few weeks from now.

That's all the writing I want to do for now. Next time I will tell the story of how I nearly killed myself at work last week.